Coaching Approach

To Help Clients Free Themselves and Create the Life They Truly Want, Cris Draws on a Unique Blend of Experience, Including:

  1. 20 years in the Corporate Workplace: Finance, Investments, and Human Resources Consulting — and 15+ years coaching.
  2. The practicality of EFT (the Emotional Freedom Technique).
  3. The Psychology and Spirituality of Core Energetics (a body-oriented approach to personal development).

The Keys to Transformation: Know Yourself, Free Yourself, and BE Yourself

I call what I do “Life Change Coaching”: I help people get out of their own way and get what they really want in life. People come in wanting all kinds of change in their lives – it almost always boils down to love (relationships) and money (career); and sometimes someone comes in who wants help solving a health issue. The common element is that everyone wants change… they wouldn’t come spend time and money unless they really wanted something to be different. By the time people get to me, they are usually worn out from unsuccessfully trying to do the same thing over and over, harder and harder, to change something in their life. What’s needed is more than a changed script… what’s needed is a transformation.

There are 3 steps to transformation:

Know (and appreciate) Yourself – Learn more about who you are, your abilities and what makes you unique… and learn mindfulness to know what you are experiencing in your inner world at a deeper and deeper level.

Free Yourself – Feelings of anger, resentment, or sadness that are stuck, or crystallized, in us physically from the past need to be released physically and energetically.  These held feelings are the root cause of being “stuck” in life.  When released, this clears the way and frees a tremendous amount of energy to re-do things differently by taking new action. (Often people attempt to skip these first 2 steps – trying to “do” things differently; but when they do, it rarely leads to lasting change.)

Be Yourself – Take more action, make more decisions based on who you really are.  People have been taught to concentrate on doing and accomplishing. These are important aspects of life, but most people are out of balance; doing too much and not doing things that help them BE their true selves. The typical thinking is: DO more, to GET more, to finally BE somebody. The opposite is more fulfilling: BE yourself, DO what reflects who you are, and be amazed at what you GET.

Much of the work I do with clients could be called “re-programming”. Wherever there is lack of fulfillment, people are using old out-moded behavior patterns. It’s like they need a “software upgrade”.  As children we learn ways to adapt to the pains inherent in being a defenseless infant – to keep us alive. But the behavior patterns that worked to get the love and attention needed when we were little don’t work well for us as adults… and we stay stuck until the underlying emotions are worked through.

If this sounds like something you are interested in, contact Cris to schedule a free ½ hour meeting to discuss your situation and what you’d like to accomplish.

 

Q & A with Colleen B, head of marketing for HFI’s Center for Healing Arts and Cris

Colleen: What is the underlying philosophy in the work you do?

Cris: The central belief I have is that whenever there’s a lack of fulfillment, or discomfort, it’s a call from your soul to learn something new about yourself and make a change in what you think, feel and do. It’s not about being punished; you are not bad, wrong or a failure. Whatever you’ve done in the past, the first step to start the process of healing and change is acceptance of yourself as you are (self-love).

I don’t look for what’s “wrong” with clients, I help them look for what’s in the way, what’s preventing them from being who they naturally are. (see diagram) People are pretty smart; if they could have figured out how to change their life they would have; when they can’t, it’s because of “blind spots”. These blind spots are the result of childhood insults and trauma. The emotions that were too powerful and dangerous to be felt are actually crystallized in us as blocks physically, emotionally, energetically. With new understandings of themselves and specially designed exercises, these blocks are dissolved and people are freed to make new more fulfilling choices in their lives.

Colleen: What do you really do?

Cris: I ask questions and listen. I look for the trail from current difficulties in people’s lives to the blocks/historical trauma that are the actual “root causes”. Then we go about healing the root causes, so people can move on.

Colleen: OK, what do sessions really look like?

Cris: Of course, it depends on where the person is, in their process. In general, we talk about what has recently happened where a client has had strong reactions – then we trace back to how similar things have happened in the past. Then we look for why it’s happening over and over… There’s always some pattern or equation that’s determining their behavior that they aren’t aware of. When they see what’s been running their life, they are more free to change it. Then I create experiences with the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) and Core Energetic Exercises that help clients free their energy to heal and change their lives. Sometimes we do all this process in one session, sometimes it’s spread out over time.

Colleen: Can you be more specific?

Cris: If a person has trouble with their boss, or their spouse, we look at how they really feel about it and what they’ve been doing about it. We may discover something like: I don’t have any choice, I have to be nice or they will leave me or I’ll be fired… I then ask “why do you believe this?”. It turns out that maybe their parents wouldn’t tolerate anger; so they learned to repress it. We discuss distorted beliefs about anger: it makes me a bad person (it doesn’t; there is no bad feeling – feelings are separate from actions which are a choice with consequences), or anger is dangerous (it was when you were little, but it’s not now as an adult; all anger is not violent). Then we use exercises (EFT and Core Energetics) to move out the old feelings. And finally we discuss new ways of dealing with the boss or spouse; and make an action plan.

Colleen: What is one the most typical mistakes that clients make?

Cris: People think that they solve their problems in their head, so at first they spend a lot of time talking about what others do to them. They are looking 180 degrees in the wrong direction. To make positive changes in their lives they need to look inside and understand why they are reacting the way they are. This will lead to positive change.

Colleen: How is what you do different than other coaches?

Cris: I think a lot of what I’ve said above about my approach probably makes me different from many, if not most coaches. Importantly, I believe that it’s the process of personal or spiritual growth, which leads to fulfilling change rather than any specific technique.

Additionally, my approach to change is holistic, it engages the whole person. People are thinking, feeling, doing beings. We have energetic layers of our bodies that include the physical, the emotional, the mental, the spiritual and the will. Each layer needs to be addressed to create lasting change.

Also, I’ve found it very useful to realize that the body expresses what you won’t let yourself do consciously. Any illness, disease, or accident, when taken in the context of a person’s life, will lead us directly to underlying unaddressed issues that need healing.

Finally, I teach from not just my training, but also from my experience – I’ve been through the kind of transitions in my life that I help clients with. I’ve been a corporate manager, I’ve been through “outplacement”, and I have made large changes in my career. In my personal life, I’ve been in therapy, as well as couples counseling (I’ve been married now 31 years with a son who just finished college).

Colleen: Who is your typical client?

Cris: I don’t really have a “typical” client, but there is a typical profile. It’s anyone really motivated to improve their live and be happier and more fulfilled. Additionally, they all have a curiosity about their life, their purpose, and who they really are.

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